J. Edward Goldman, MFT

28 August 2012

The Human Power of Love

“Nothing human loves forever…”. While looking into updates on Tony Scott and his tragic suicide, I encountered this tagline from his debut feature film ‘The Hunger’ (1983)–which is a great film if you haven’t seen it. Not just because it has David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve and is about vampires, but because it’s just great all around, and has deeper psychological and existential meaning. I like the idea of that tagline, even though it’s meant to be one of those cheesy, supposedly creepy, 80′s movie marketing attempts: love simply doesn’t last forever. The best of all possible human loves is by its very nature temporal, fleeting, and finite. That’s what makes it powerful and beautiful, I believe. I mean, if humans were somehow able to love eternally, like say vampires for instance, wouldn’t that make loves less special and meaningful? And wouldn’t it get flat-out boring??? In my book, love is about living together, growing together, and dying together. It’s like too sides of the same coin: human, vulnerable, and balanced. I’ll take real love any day over some fake, eternal, immortal attempt at love that couldn’t even possibly last forever. It’s all the more reason to cherish every moment that you share with your loved ones, to not live in your head, or in the future, or in the past, or in some imaginary cyberspace, but simply fully and presently in the now. Because you never know when the universe will take away your loved ones from you, whether by natural causes, disease, or in some cases when our loved ones take their own lives with suicide, whether by impulse, mental disorder, or rational decision (as in the case of terminal illness, for instance). Life is very short. And love is very short as well. But the power of love, and the effects and vibrations that are left behind from our love, extend well beyond any given lifetime. I feel that’s a beautiful thing, as I’m anticipating a trip towards the end of the week for an old friend’s wedding this weekend, up in Portland. I see marriage as a beautiful union and commitment between two vulnerable, mortal beings who will face much adversity together in their partnership. “In sickness and in health, till death do us part…”. Ah…it’s nice. I look forward to the ceremony. Marriage and Family Therapist, J. Edward Goldman, signing off…